Happy Pride!: An Examination of Queer Experiences in Gaming.

Being queer in the gaming scene has always been a forefront of how I approached my games. Yelling “Oh slayyyy” whenever a diva shows up in my games, or “I know that’s right” whenever said diva does something or I do something in-game. It’s what makes gaming fun for me, to be able to project my queer identity unapologetically.

Castronaut, Gaming Pinas Writer (It’s me!!!)

Gaming became an outlet for me to express my queer self, especially now when games are now slowly showing support to the LGBTQ+ community through having proper representation through their characters, or having in-game events and cosmetics that are explicitly queer and/or queer-coded. Gaming has progressed in a positive direction for queer gamers.

With how gaming has positively evolved, also comes the rain who dares to cloud its shine.

Kwento Ka Naman Beshie Ko: My Experience Being Queer in Gaming

Overwatch Old UI via Reddit

One of my main competitive games back then was Overwatch (well, it still is honestly-), and I was using a character that was regarded by the community as pretty bad and niche. That character was my kween Symmetra.

Luminum’s 60+ Hours of Sym Video 9 years ago via Youtube

I started maining Symmetra after seeing queer Sym Mains like Luminum and Hoshizora. They were huge inspirations to my queer journey in Overwatch. With her lock-on beam and a more defensive playstyle, picking Sym on attack meant you were going to be trashtalked either by your team or the enemy team.

Sym’s Infamous Lock-On Beam via Furious Paul

I remember a specific Plat game—I picked Symmetra on King’s Row attacking side and one of my teammates added me. I accepted and they literally told me through dm “Why’d you pick Sym, do you want us to lose,” and it was the funniest thing ever. As I started climbing (I was surprisingly good with this specific gimmick character-), people started calling me tons of slurs when I did extremely well. Slurs like f***** and using the term “gay” derogatorily.

Sym’s Shield Gen via Blizzard Forum

Fast forward to a more active and newer FPS, I also had weird experiences that irked me.

Valorant’s Viper Loading Screen via CoffeeVince Gaming

In Valorant, I was a Viper main, and it’s almost, if not mandatory, to give comms if you’re playing Viper. As a queer gay man, comms never appealed to me because of online clips that circulate around when they hear a gay man talk, because apparently they sound gay.

I started mustering up the courage to finally try giving comms, to call out when my wall is going down, or when my smoke is going up. There was this one specific Corrode Ph Server game where I was constantly communicating to my team where the enemies were and when my smokes were gonna go up and down, and I was top-fragging too!

My teammates were also talking in vc, we were having fun convos about the game, and then this one guy ruined it for me. When I was still setting up my smokes and talking about stuff as we were before, he suddenly started asking na “bakla ka ba” while I was talking, and it was in a funny tone. I didn’t answer, and when it got a bit uncomfortable, his friend pivoted it that it was directed to him and they laughed it off.

That single handedly ruined whatever courage I had to speak in-game.

Corrode via Valorant Wiki

Of course, I had a fair share of positivity within my games! During my climb, I’ve met wonderful online friends that supported me wholeheartedly in my queer journey in Overwatch. Often shielding me from derogatory marks when we played, and made the whole thing bearable for me. They rooted for me to continue playing and disregard the disgusting homophobic comments. I actually peaked high masters with solo queueing as Symmetra, and getting plat

These two experiences had one thing in common, it was discrimination against queer gamers. My experience is only 1 to probably thousands of discriminatory cases that happen in-game and even outside of it…

Sinech Itey?: More Experiences About Being Queer in Gaming!

As mentioned before, my experiences are mostly 1 (or 2-) to thousands of experiences. We decided to seek out other queer gamers that are heavily engaged in the industry to share their own experiences and of being queer in gaming.

Dani Rogacion – CEO and Co-Founder of Overdrive Studios

Dani Rogacion, CEO and Co-Founder of Overdrive Studios via Danigorl

Dani’s queer journey interestingly started with customization in wrestling games!

“I used to play a lot of wrestling games, and I usually played as a male. There were times that I switched it up, kung ano mafefeel ko while playing as a female character.” – Dani Rogacion

WWE SmackDown! Here Comes the Pain Screengrab via WWE

She explained that games with customization made her fully-understand herself! As games progressed, customization evolved in ways that made it easier to see yourself in-game.

“When customization became more in-depth, I got to make it look more like me. There were times na mas na vivisualize ko siya from games palang.” – Dani Rogacion

As Dani started working, she shared that during her work, she was once discriminated against within a company.

“I had an experience where I was discriminated against, hindi lang harap-harapan. I used to work for this one company, and I was a partner before dun. There was this one board member, and one of the founders even, was expressing “Why is this Dani making her trans identity a big deal.” -Dani Rogacion

Due to this discrimination, Dani believes that there is still fear in being out and visible in the local gaming industry, and because of that fear, we lack a queer community for gamers. Dani mentioned that when there is a community, it’s more present among female-centric Filipino communities.

“I honestly don’t have a lot of queer friends in gaming, and one of the few safe spaces that I was able to join was GGP (Gamer Girls Philippines). On the start of my transition before, I also looked for more gamers who are also queer, turns out most of them are women. Naturally, I went there. I was nervous about not being accepted initially kasi they have tight screening processes, and they tend to look for individuals talaga. I realized I got accepted immediately and that’s where I felt safe.” – Dani Rogacion

Dani’s Talk via Gamer Girls Philippines

Being in Gamer Girls, Dani noted that there’s this discriminatory intersection between queer gamers and girl gamers within the community and the industry. Which was further expounded by our Nonbinary Gaming Pinas Content Producer, Rui!

Rui – Content Producer at Gaming Pinas

Rui, Gaming Pinas Content Producer

For those who aren’t aware of what being nonbinary is, Rui explained that being nonbinary means not identifying exclusively as male or female, they don’t follow specific traditional categories.

Non-binary Flag via Wikipedia

And as someone who is non-binary in the gaming industry, Rui has shared that she has encountered moments where she felt discriminated against.

“Back then, in a certain company, there was a point where I was the only girl, and everyone around me just expected me to be a “normal woman” when I made my boundaries and identity clear. I wanted to be treated like a normal person who loves gaming, but they kept trying to turn me into a “category” they could tease.” – Rui 

This made it difficult for Rui to truly just be her, to express what she wanted to be in her specific space in the gaming industry. The people around her wanted her to fit into a specific box:

“When I dressed more masculine, people would tease me or challenge me by saying “Lalaki ka diba?” in a mocking way. As I was still figuring out my identity, it was hard to speak up or defend myself. On the days I did dress feminine, I’d get weird comments like “Wow, babae ka ngayon ah,” which felt like I couldn’t win no matter what I wore. Not to mention the other unnecessary side comments that made me uncomfortable.” – Rui 

Oh but the price of working in a male-dominated field. Especially back then, when it was strictly males who ran the scene. People just want to go to work, and if you’re in the gaming industry, play games without their body or clothes being the main topic of conversation, and this was something Rui didn’t have the right to have back then.

With the disrespect towards her queerness and nonbinary identity, being a girl in the space also meant harmful stereotypes towards her being a gamer.

“They still treated me like I was bad at games just because I was female. I’m a casual player, and I play to enjoy things… But my biological gender was used to look down on my skills and use the “Girls are bad at Video Games” stereotype against me.” – Rui 

Gamer Rui!

Rui mentioned that, due to circumstances, she had to let everything go in and out one ear, because she didn’t see anyone else like her within her old company and in the industry. Pero ika nga, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.

“Everything changed when I found Gamer Girls Philippines. I was happy to see a community of people who just wanted to play games whether casually or competitively. A lot of them were queer too! GGP is where I first saw Dani, and I looked up to her ever since because she was the person I needed to see when I was starting out ” – Rui 

Because of Rui’s courage and bravery in pushing through hard times, she finally found a community where she truly belonged.

Quest to Wonderland: Save the Strays | A Gamer Girls Philippines – Women’s Month Celebration Charity Fundraiser Event (2024)
Photo by Ferlyn Lee | @skyestudioph on Instagram

Gamer Girls Philippines became a lighthouse for those who were lost in the gaming space, and it also opened up a conversation of having the gays and the girls co-exist in the gaming space.

“We should always consider letting everyone play. We do have open leagues now where anyone can play but that doesn’t translate to proper opportunities. They don’t have the same societal advantage of just being able to play. This is also why female-centered teams have a hard time against their male counterparts, dahil hindi naman lumaki ang mga babae to play, late na sila ng start. I would say na in an early stage sana magkaron ng equal opportunities regardless if you’re male, female, non-binary, gender non-conforming, etc.” – Dani Rogacion

KikayeSarap – Mother at EXEcration and HR Assistant at Lupon

As gaming has progressed in the Philippines, we now have tons of local queer representation! 

Queer gamers now constantly get empowered by other queer gamers to play freely! An example of this is one of the trailblazers for queer Esports here in the Philippines, KikayeSarap!

KikayeSarap via LuponWXC

As someone who’s queer in the gaming industry, KikayeSarap made it one of their missions to constantly have queer gamers in the forefront. As they are aware that not everyone is open and free to express themselves.

“Naghahanap din talaga ako ng tulad namin na naglalaro. Tumatambay ako sa TikTok, kasi meron mga tulad namin na hindi sila masyado open. Pag nakakakita ako, nag fofollow ako tapos nag iinteract ako sa live nila para makita nila na welcome sila sa community!” – KikayeSarap

They always made sure that every queer gamer that they meet is welcome! Harboring a safe space not just to the people they met, but also to other people who hear stories about them and their advocacy in having a welcoming queer space in the community.

This advocacy has extended to gay and girl tournaments that KikayeSarap spearheaded!

Gay Tourney Photo (From Left to Right: Maarte, Meeko, Ipe, Bhetty, Tara) provided by KikayeSarap 

“Dati, nag start ako sa Pacific. Gumawa ako ng tournament for LGBT at Girls tournament. Nung una, girls lang yun, so ang ginawa ko ay gumawa ako para sa mga gays. Ang tawag dun ay Gays Tournaments. So naglabasan lahat ng mga bakla! Hindi ko ine-expect na sobrang dami, kaya sa mga gaming na mga gay kilala ako, kasi nag papa tournament ako dati.” – KikayeSarap

They noted that with these tournaments, a lot of queer gamers have made tons of friends with other queer gamers. And it even got to the point that the gays and girls tournaments came together as one single tournament! Again, an intersection between the gays and the girls!

“Wag kayo mahiya! Make friends, enjoyin niyo lang yung sarili niyo at laruin niyo lang yung mga games na gusto niyo!” – KikayeSarap

Gay Tourney Photo provided by KikayeSarap 

KikayeSarap’s service to the queer gamers is unmatched, giving a platform for not only queer gamers, but also girls to fully express themselves in the gaming space. It’s truly admirable how much visibility they added to the local gaming scene in general.

Gay Tourney Photo (From Left to Right: Lulu, Juno, Mckaye (KikayeSarap), Lui, Pchy) provided by KikayeSarap 

A Slay!: How The Local Gaming Community Has Changed for Queer Gamers.

Squirtle’s Coming Out from Pokemon Tales: Come Out Squirtle via Reddit

As we celebrate how the local gaming community has evolved towards gaming, it is important to note that just because we have some representation and people are more open, the fight still never stops.

Discrimination and Homophobia still exists in the gaming space, and it’s something that we have to constantly talk about, to not normalize these types of behaviours, and specially harmful stereotypes in the gaming community.

From mine, Dani’s, Rui’s experience, and KikayeSarap’s experience and constant advocacy with bringing queerness in the gaming community. We all have a part to make this community safe to, not just to LGBTQ+ community, but to marginalized groups as well.

“Hindi lang naman mga bading ang pinag-uusapan dito, there’s a lot of intersectionality between them. For example: People who come from disadvantaged backgrounds, etc, kasi lahat sila nahihirapan din mag laro. It shouldn’t just end with queer people.” – Dani Rogacion

Ika nga, with how gaming has positively evolved, also comes the rain who dares to cloud its shine… but after rain also comes the rainbow that shines as bright as it can! And it’s everyone’s duty to keep that rainbow shining!